Friday, September 14, 2007

In search of unfeigned love: A ‘child’ish dream



What used to puzzle me a lot as a child was my irrepressible urge to get ‘noticed’ by the opposite sex…. And to me, what was more bamboozling was the fact that such a powerful feeling blossomed in my mind at such an early stage in my life… Those were times when I should have, ideally, been more fascinated about toys, about the incomprehensible mysteries of nature like rains, days, nights and so on… but I was never enraptured by any of those much more complex things which had driven almost all my friends crazy… As they kept chanting about things which dazzled them, I used to wonder, “Why are they not like me?”… In the meanwhile, my attraction towards the young roses around kept growing… I did not know what my quest was for… I did not know when it would bear fruit… Or if at all it would ever… But, I was not the one to give up… While all my friends (rather classmates) were busy dirtying their uniforms on the playing ground, I would quietly stand in a corner and relish the sight of budding beauties, constantly chatting…smiling… laughing… crying…running… dancing… singing… all around me…Those moments, I thought, were the best in my life… How much I used to wait for one glance from one of them? How much I used to cherish the moments when one of them would throw an enigmatic look right at me…. at a time when I would be least expecting it… I started living for such moments and when I would get them would be on cloud nine and when I would not, I would cut a sorry figure…

That was just the beginning… Those early flames never seemed to fade out… Rather, they were getting stronger and stronger as I was growing up… I was still waiting for the right rose… the one with the perfect colour… fragrance… A perfect rose with everything perfect about it… That was my dream and I was ready to wait… Passing time did not bother me much… Coz I WAS IN SEARCH OF UNFEIGNED LOVE… The first and the last true love of my life… That too at an age when I could not even decipher the meaning of love… What more I can say… It was just a CHILDish DREAM…

No comments: